About the Artist
According to conventional wisdom, one of the first steps you should take when starting a business is defining your objective with a “mission statement.” During a phase of career burnout after having changed jobs 6 times in a span of 5 years, Adam Bies was pondering the over-repeated definition of Insanity.
“Insanity is defined by doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.”
A culmination of synchronistic events started him on the the path to a new lifestyle of working, and he crafted his mission statement.
“It’s time to make my living by going on a permanent vacation.”
While that may sound quite obnoxious on the surface, consider this…
…Congress only works 50 days a year.
Why should we slave over jobs wih ever-decreasing satisfaction, where only the lucky earn a few precious weeks of vacation each year? Do you want to be laying on your death bed thinking about all those weekends you stayed at work late to knock out those TPS Reports?
Wouldn’t you rather be looking back on a life well lived? Any of us could work twice the amount of time as these douche bag politicans, and accomplish ten times more than those politicians ever will. Adam learned early in life that the people who make the most money do the least amount of work.
…There’s a fucking CAT that makes more money in a year than most of us will make in our lifetime.
The day Adam woke up realizing there’s a fucking CAT out there making so much more money than him was a serious wake up call! Pursuing a “professional career” was a serious wrong turn in the course of this artist’s life.
Working in a world where 23 year old hipsters make all the decisions, Adam was considered too old to be anything but a Walmart greeter by the time he turned 30. He began contemplating what would happen if he continued down the path of software design after his 40th birthday. Considering that most old ass Walmart greeters are too fucking broke to afford anything to eat but cat food (even with the employee discount), it was time to act fast!
…In 2014 6,911 backers gave some asshole $55,492 to make a potato salad on Kickstarter.
Adam always thought a career in the food service industry was for losers. Boy was he wrong! While being a cheeseburger connoisseur himself, Adam is aware that you can pay up to $6,000 for a cheeseburger in Las Vegas. However a $50,000 potato salad was unheard of!
The best part of this whole story is that the asshole didn’t even have to feed any of his customers. He got to eat the whole fucking thing himself! Doesn’t that piss you off?
…Back in 1999, some rich asshole bought a photograph of Jesus Christ covered in piss for $277,000.
As if being nailed to a cross and hung up to die for healing the sick and feeding the poor wasn’t enough, Jesus Christ had to suffer even more humiliation at the hands of Andres Serrano after being stuffed into a mason jar filled with piss for a photo shoot.
Raised in a Catholic family, Adam was brainwashed into believing that you won’t get anywhere in life by taking the lord’s name in vain. What they failed to teach him was that you CAN make enough to buy a very nice sized home if you put grandma’s crucifix in a mason jar filled with piss and sell it in a Christie’s auction. Adam was beginning to see how a life of horrible upbringing in a family with absurd rules (like not taking a shit or a piss on our lord and savior) robbed him of his future.
…Millions of religious nutjobs hand over billions of dollars so poor television evangelists can afford to fly on private jets to their multi-million dollar estates.
Philippians 4:19 states “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” While taking a piss on our Lord and Savior won’t even earn you enough to buy a tiny starter home in Silicon Valley, using Jesus Christ to perpetuate scams on television will earn you enough for a private jet and a large mansion, along with all the hookers and blow you can snort off their bare tits.
If people are dumb enough to throw away 10% of their paycheck to sponsor the next “Eyes Wide Shut” party at Pat Robertson’s house, I guess they’d be dumb enough to throw their money to anyone who makes their living providing false hope.
…In 3 years, the company responsible for bringing the psychic powers of “Miss Cleo” to the masses billed over $1 billion through people’s credit cards.
Even though Miss Cleo and the gang’s 3 year take was over 1 billion, they were only successful collecting half of that amount. $500 million dollars isn’t too bad for making up a bunch of bullshit to tell stupid people about their future. In fact, the more things you come up with to tell them, the more money you make, since those phone calls cost $2 per minute.
Why pay $120 per hour for a psychiatrist when you can ask a two-bit Hollywood actress pretending to be a voodoo witch doctor psychic to solve all of your problems? Especially if most of your problems stem from debt and poor spending habits.
…By the time she was only 22 years old, dumb ass kids shelled out enough money for the manufactured music and tickets to watch Justine Beebler lip sync live on stage to raise her net worth to over $200 million dollars.
While Miss Cleo had to split her take amongst several partners, this Hollywood star made serious bank prancing around like a fairy princess and lip syncing pop music on stage to millions of underage boys and girls.
That’s not bad for a kid who was booed at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards, and the 2014 Juno Awards. With the most disliked YouTube video of all time, she also has several more on the top 20 most disliked list. And don’t forget about the 1.6 star rating on IMDB for both of her motion pictures — “Never Say Never” and “Believe.”
Justine constantly lifts the spirits of young women of all ages with hip new takes on historical events, like the time she visited Anne Frank’s house in Germany and said — “Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber”
…Professional video game players are earning in excess of $100,000 per year.
Un-fucking-beliebable! If you’re too much of a pussy to sign up to fight the Nazis yourself, that doesn’t mean that you can’t make a shit ton of money pretending to do it online! The United States now recognizes professional eSports (“electronic sports”) players as professional athletes. In fact, the U.S. customs department is now allowing video gamers from foreign countries to live in Merica’ on professional athlete visas.
The day finally day came when Adam realized that his parents were completely full of shit when they told him that he’d never accomplish anything by sitting around playing video games all day. Adam resents those bad parenting choices to this day because they robbed him of the life he had always dreamed of.
Sitting in a recliner all day playing Call of Duty making $100,000 per year would have been a life changing career. However Adam’s shitty upbringing filled his head with the wrong values his parents always forced on him, such as “Do good in school;” “Go to college;” “Work hard;” “Be on time;” “Study hard;” “Do your homework;” “Do the right thing;” “Treat others the way you want to be treated;” along with a bunch of other nonsense.
…When you take all of this into consideration, It becomes readily apparent that one has to be completely fucking ridiculous to be successful in today’s world.
That was when Adam Bies decided to go “all in” and start forging a lifestyle combining his love of outdoor adventure, travel, photography, and visual design. And it all started with a proper name change.
For Adam Kenneth Campbell, it was time for a fresh start.
Growing tired of the name he carried since high school, now would be the perfect time to make that change. Many celebrities change their names for marketing reasons, and Adam Bies always felt like his name sounded like something stuck to some douche bag loser’s partition wall of a corporate cubicle maze.
On the other hand, Adam Kenneth Campbell sounds like a very important and successful designer with a new fall collection coming out at Macy’s.
Born Adam Robert Campbell in 1975, Adam wanted to reclaim his family name. The “Bies” name came from his stepfather, whom he always referred to as “Ken.” As a teenager, Adam’s friends always thought he was a total rebel and bad ass for always calling his adoptive father by his first name instead of “dad.” Adam fondly remembers the looks he’d get from his peers whenever his father would give him a curfew followed by “Yeah, whatever KEN! See ya’ later!”
Since Ken always used his full name “Kenneth” on anything official, it made sense for Adam to honor his memory by changing his middle name.
Aside from his parent’s failure to push him into a career of video games, porn, and hustling stupid old church people for drug money, Adam’s parents were great people. But considering that Adam could never show up to a “Bies” family reunion without everyone thinking he was just crashing the place for some free food — changing his name to Adam Kenneth Campbell was not only marketing genius, but a sentimental way to honor both of the parents who raised him to become the prick you see today.
Adam’s real father abandoned him before birth, only to die as a crazy old homeless man living under a fucking bridge — frozen to death in the middle of winter. Adam’s middle name was the same as his mother’s first abusive alcoholic husband who used to beat the shit out of her all the time, crash all of the family vehicles, and burn the house down to the ground when he was a kid.
Changing his name was a way of bringing some positivity to this new adventure, and honoring the people who sacrificed quite a bit so that Adam could grow up in a healthy environment and get the education necessary to make a living being completely fucking ridiculous.
Adam doesn’t do photography for hire.
Adam does not acceept weddings, will not sit with you for a portrait sessions, won’t shoot your event (unless he wants to be there anyway), and doesn’t accept any other kind of paid assignments. What you see available in the gallery is what you get. High quality prints are available for almost all of his images in various media.
Adam doesn’t run around with a team of fucking lawyers and clipboards asking for model releases when he shoots candid shots of people in public spaces, and he never will. Adam won’t remove the corporate logos from his city shots. Adam intends to show you things as he sees them. If you are interested in any of his images for editorial or commercial purposes, keep that in mind.
Adam has no desire to run around chasing after photos of violence, car accidents, dead bodies, the garbage polluting everything you see, destruction from natural disasters, and other newsworthy things. Go check out the fake news over at CNN and Fox News if you want to see anything like that.
The last thing Adam set out to do when becoming a photographer was to set off on a new career he would grow to hate. After spending 25 years as a commercial artist, it was time for Adam to have complete creative control over his work. The last thing Adam needs to deal with is an angry Bridezilla on her wedding day because her priest won’t allow a photographer into the church for her wedding.
What’s wrong with this picture?
It appears as if there are 17 cameras in this image, multiplied by a continous shutter speed of at least 20 frames per second, per camera, resulting in approximately 1,020 photographs of the same mother fucker catching the same fucking ball, from the same fucking angle.
While getting free tickets to the Super Bowl to watch the game from the field has it’s appeal — Adam has absolutely zero interest in pursuing a career as a “combat photographer” running around pushing and shoving other photographers trying to keep up with the fucking Kardashians. It makes no sense for Adam to run around taking the same fucking photo of the same douche bag politician or celebrtity that 100 other photographers also shot at the same time.
Think of this web site as Adam’s chicken bucket, as he sits on the sidewalk asking for a handout so he can continue making his living while on a permanent vacation.
When you drop your hard earned money into the chicken bucket of a crackhead sitting on the sidewalk, what does that give you? A warm fuzzy feeling inside because you helped someone who can’t help themselves — head down to the liquor store to pick up a bottle of Mad Dog and a bag of crack to get through the night?
When you drop your hard earned dollars into Adam Kenneth Campbell’s chicken bucket, not only are you helping a starving artist buy a case of beer — you’re also purchasing an important piece of art to display on your wall! Think of Adam as the guy who shot that photo you wanted to take at the tourist trap, but didn’t have the patience to sit in the same spot for 5 hours waiting for the light to be just right.
As you can see, Adam is not some “sunshine and rainbows, politically correct, white bread, saltine cracker” trying to put out some fake bland image — afraid of offending anyone in hopes that it won’t impact his photo sales. If you couldn’t tell by now, Adam really doesn’t give a fuck.
This project is all about a guy with a bad attitude showing all of you that in spite of the shit-show we wake up to each and every day, we are still surrounded by so much beauty — and we all need to stop and appreciate it!
Adam intends to prove to himself and all of you that it is possible to chase your dreams, make a shit ton of money, say whatever the hell you want, and live your life on your terms — as he walks away from corporate America with his middle finger in the air.